


My name's John.

by areeskimosreal



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areeskimosreal/pseuds/areeskimosreal
Summary: It's time for John to let Kayleigh in on his secret.
Relationships: Kayleigh Kitson & John Redmond
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	My name's John.

**Author's Note:**

> Refers to a conversation John and Kayleigh had in Heart to Heart.

" John ?" A smiling Kayleigh ran into John's office, but there was no reply. She took her phone from her pocket and dialled his number , it rang out .

" Strange " she thought as she put it back in her pocket.

" He went out " Pamela said as she passed.

Kayleigh stepped into the hall after her.

" Pam ?"

" What Kay ?"

" Has he gone to a meeting or something?"

" I dunno "

" Has he gone to another store then ?"

" I dunno "

" When will he be back then ?"

" I dunno that either ?"

" You don't know much for being his assistant do you ?" Kayleigh said flippantly.

" About as much as you, and you're his girlfriend " Pamela snapped back. 

Kayleigh went to answer, but decided not to, she didn't want to betray just how jealous of Pamela she was working so closely with John.

" I'm not his keeper, Pamela " Kayleigh nodded and walked off.

Kayleigh noticed him on the shopfloor later that day, he looked in her direction, she waved and smiled, he reciprocated.She watched as he signed a clipboard handed to him by one of the department heads, and then headed her way.

" I hear you were looking for me ?"

" I wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch with me Johnathan "

" I nipped out "

" Where?"

" What ?" 

" Where did you nip out to ?"

" I just went out "

" I know that silly " Kayleigh sniggered," where did you go ?"

" I went for a coffee, at Starbucks "

" Why there?"

" Why all the questions ?"

" I'm just being inquisitive John "

" Aye well it sounds like an interrogation to me "

" Well it isn't I only asked …….." 

" John ?"

" Yes Helen ?"

" Can you have a look at this please ?"

John sighed, then turned back to look at Kayleigh. 

" Catch up later, okay honey ?"

" Sure" Kayleigh smiled, but her eyes hadn't read the script .

Kayleigh fastened her seat belt, then looked straight ahead. John looked at her.

She looked back, well more glared if John was honest.

" Have I done something wrong babe ?"

" I don't want to argue John " Kayleigh replied curtly.

" Tell me, please "

" Earlier I was just interested in how your day was going, and how you were, and why you felt you had to leave the store for a coffee, we have a Costa here, and we enjoy a Costa together…….usually "

John took his hand off the keys.

" If we go to Costa or I go to Costa, it's like being in the bloody shop window, everyone sees me there "

" And ?"

" And sometimes I just need to get away, away from the hubbub, the constant questions, the never-ending round of John can you look at this John I need help with, John if you get a minute could you?........I just need to get away ,even if it's just for ten minutes"

" Do you need to get away from me too ?"

John could see tears in Kayleigh's eyes.

" No, it's coming back to you that makes me happy, you're my only reason for coming back, day in day out "

" Promise ?"

" Cross my heart "

" It's just that I," Kayleigh swallowed hard, " I……." She couldn't hold the tears back any longer, she started to cry.

John grasped her hands in his.

" Don't cry sweetheart, everything is fine "

" I'm worried in case I've frightened you off " she said between bouts of sobbing.

" You could never do that babe, I love you too much "

" Mandy says……."

" Oh here we go, bloody Mandy again " John let go of Kayleigh's hands and flung his arms up in despair. Kayleigh carried on oblivious. 

" She says I'm too full on with you, that I'm too emotional, too……"

" You're not too anything Kayleigh, I love the way you are I love the fact you love me, and I love the fact that you tell every bugger how much you love me, I love the little love notes you leave me, and the sneaky little kisses I get at work, I love everything about our relationship, you babe keep me sane, keep me from my dark place "

" What do you mean, your dark place"

" Just a saying, you know, you keep me from getting too stressed "

" Are you just saying that ?"

" Of course not , I couldn't get by without you now love, truth is I don't think I'd want to "

" Eh ?"

" Nowt, come on, let's go for an early dinner eh, some nice pub somewhere?"

Kayleigh nodded, anywhere with John was bliss .

For the next few weeks John asked Kayleigh at every opportunity to go with him for a coffee, the first few times they tried to grab some together time at the in-store Costa, the continual flow of people demanding John's time illustrated to Kayleigh just what John meant. Trying to drink their beverages in the car was equally frustrating as people just followed them out.

"Are you free in about ten minutes babe ?" John asked Kayleigh as she tidied up her promotions area.

" I'll make sure I am "

" Good, I feel a Starbucks coffee coming on "

" And a salad ?" Kayleigh grinned.

" I'm not made of money you know ?" John answered humorously. 

" I bet you've still got your Christening piece, you stingy git " Elsie said from behind John.

" Oi, Brennan " Kayleigh said smiling, " John sees I don't go without , don't you darling ?"

John and Elsie sniggered.

" Shit I did it again didn't I ?"

Both Elsie and John nodded.

John and Kayleigh walked arm in arm into Starbucks, placed their order, collected it and went back to the car.

" I enjoy this John "

" Me too, like you wouldn't believe "

" I like our together time "

" Hey, I meant to ask you, how did the Boots reunion go ?"

" You don't want go hear about that do you, wasn't having to put me to bed that night bad enough ?"

" Anything involving, you me and bed is a good night by my reckoning " John grinned.

" Cheeky fish "

" No , honestly love, I'd love to hear how it went "

" Seriously?"

" Aye, go on "

" Fair enough, well we started at Weather's ..."

" I know I dropped you off "

" Ahem, my story Johnathan, you sit back and enjoy , no interruptions, get it ?"

" Got it " John made the zipped lips gesture.

" Good "

" Carry on then "

" John ! "

John grinned at this gorgeous little fireball, and once again counted his blessings.

Kayleigh talked almost without interruption for nearly fifteen minutes, her tale was littered with accidental double entendres, mild expletives and vivid descriptions of previous workmates habits and mannerisms, John chuckled throughout, and knew if he was ever introduced to some of these people, he'd know exactly who they were.

"..............., and that's how I had two odd shoes when you picked me up "

Kayleigh finished her tale and drank the remains of her espresso. 

Kayleigh looked at John, he was looking back with a serious expression on his face.

" Promise you never leave me " he said, grabbing Kayleigh's free hand.

" What ?"

" Promise me you won't ever leave me "

" What's brought this on John ?"

" Promise " 

" You're hurting my hand John "

" I need you to promise "

" Of course I promise, I love you too much to let you go "

John let go of Kayleigh's hand and slumped in his seat.

" What brought that on ?"

" I just realised as I sat here listening to you, that I can't live without you, I couldn't "

" That's a lovely thing to say John "

" I'm serious, listening to you, the way you tell those sort of stories, the type of people you know, the life you lead, I can't believe I'm part of that now, how lucky I am, and how good my future looks, all I can think about when I'm with you is how much I love you "

" I love you t………"

Kayleigh was silenced by John giving her the most gentle loving kiss she had ever had.

They both returned to the store euphoric

They continued their frequent sojourns to Starbucks for a few weeks, although Kayleigh had had to stop saying her and John were heading off for half an hour so she could help relieve his executive stress, she had gone a deep shade of scarlet when Sharon whispered in her ear what people thought she was doing.

Life it seemed was on the up for Kayleigh Ann Kitson, at last.

" Oh you on your way out Cath, I brought up the overtime sheets for next week "

" I'm off to the Dentist, just put them on my desk love "

" Okay "

" Oh, and John's in his office " Cath winked. 

" Is he ?"

" As if you didn't know "

Cath waved and headed off.

Kayleigh fluffed her hair, pulled her skirt up a little, and loosened a blouse button, after a quick application of some lipstick, she quietly entered the small kitchen are that adjoined the two offices.

"...........It's getting harder to keep it secret" ".......... …. …."

" I know I should, but it's not that easy "

".......... …….. ………"

" I feel like I'm letting her down now, if I tell her, how is that gonna help me ?"

" ……… ……… ….. ……… ……."

" I'm not disputing that fact, I know she has a right to know, and I know the longer this goes on, the harder it will be "

".............. …….. .. ……. ….."

" I'm still ashamed of what I am ….."

".........,........ …….. .."

" Proud, how can you say that ?"

" ……."

" No, I can't do it on my own"

"........" 

" I just can't okay ?"

"............... ………"

" I need to see you Ellen, I need you "

" …… ………"

" Starbucks, in half an hour okay ?"

" ……."

" Good, me too "

"...."

" Bye "

For once the betrayal didn't cause Kayleigh to fall apart, on the contrary it galvanised her into action, she was no longer going to be walked over, she would go to Starbucks meet John and his other woman, give them a character reference and march out, head held high, she could cry later.

She left before John, fortunately she had taken her car to work that day, sleeping in had worked in her favour for once, She sat in the large retail park car park, facing but not too near the door of Starbucks, John appeared ten minutes after her. He went in bought a coffee and sat down, she could see him clearly. Nearly twenty minutes passed before John was Joined at his table, the woman had her back to her so Kayleigh didn't see her clearly, but she did notice the grey hair. She waited another few minutes, then taking the long way round headed for the second entrance, John had his back to that one !.

The older woman was reaching across the table, holding both John's hands in hers, she was speaking quietly, John had his head bowed, whatever this Ellen was saying, John was nodding in agreement.

Kayleigh steeled herself, whatever happened in the next few minutes, these two bastards wouldn't see her cry.

She pulled her bag further up on her shoulder, and marched to the table.

" My my, isn't this cosy ?"

Kayleigh's voice shocked John, he let go of Ellen's hands and leapt to his feet. 

" Kayleigh"

" Surprised to see me are you ?" Kayleigh's sneer of disgust plain to see.

" Kayleigh this is Ellen "

" Really?" The little redhead never took her eyes off John.

" What ?" John replied perplexed. 

" You're not really going to introduce her to me are you , have you no shame ? "

" I think we have been overtaken by events John, it seems your plans to tell her later were for nought "

" For nought , who are you Catherine Cookson ?" Kayleigh snarled at the other woman.

" Actually I'm his sponsor "

John looked at Ellen, the bewilderment plain for both to see.

" Perhaps now's not the time ? " John said. 

" I think it has to be now John, what you're hiding is far less important that what Kayleigh thinks you're hiding"

" Like she said, she's my sponsor "

" What are you doing this time John, an ultra marathon ,or an Iron man triathlon ?"

" My sobriety sponsor Kayleigh "

" Your what what ?"

" His sobriety sponsor." Ellen said softly, looking around the room.

" I never asked you" Kayleigh snapped.

" I help him" Ellen continued.

" If I was you I'd think very carefully before I opened my mouth again " Kayleigh glared at Ellen as she spoke.

" Christ Kayleigh, you still don't get it do you ?"

" Get what John ?"

" I'm an Alcoholic, Kayleigh do you get it now, do you understand, I'm an Alcoholic ? " , John dropped his head when he finished speaking.

Kayleigh had heard the description struck dumb used many times, now she knew exactly what it meant, she tried to say something, but couldn't, she looked at John, then at Ellen, Ellen nodded .

John pulled out a chair and helped Kayleigh sit.

" I'll get Kayleigh a tea. " Ellen said as she headed to the counter.

" I had no idea John, I would never have suspected, how long ? " Kayleigh said after a long pause.

" I've been dry for years now, my last little hiccup was at the staff party "

" Gloria Gaynor?"

" Aye, I'd just lost my dad, my nana had gotten that bad diagnosis, and there was a whisper of me being demoted, I looked for answers in the bottom of a bottle "

" I'm so sorry John "

" Not your problem gorgeous "

" Why haven't you told me ?"

" I sort of tried to drop hints, it's too much of an embarrassment to come right out with, truth is I'm ashamed "

Kayleigh noticed John hadn't looked directly at her since he made his admission, towards yes, but not at. She reached across and lifted his head, she wanted to look in his eyes.

" You should be proud of yourself John, you realised you had a problem…."

" Have, I have a problem babe, it doesn't go away "

" Have a problem and you've recognised the fact and taken steps to help yourself, lots of men wouldn't, they'd just keep on drinking until it killed them "

" I told you the night we started going out, remember, I told you the story about me and my dad fighting, that was the start of me realising how I was living wasn't normal, that's when I knew I had to change. And because I'm in love with you, I knew I had to tell you, and knowing I had to, was stressing me, and when my stress goes up, that's when I struggle, that's when I feel my resolve weakening "

" You can trust me you know John, I wouldn't tell anyone "

" What do you mean ?"

" I could keep your secret, you didn't need to worry I wouldn't "

" Oh Kayleigh darling, that's not what I meant, I wasn't stressing about you keeping it secret, I know you would, I was worried about you seeing me differently, seeing a very different John Redmond from the one you think you know"

" The one I love " Kayleigh gripped John's hand.

" I didn't want you to think bad of me because of it "

" Did you really think it would make a difference ?"

" Yes, and I've been worried sick about it, I was really struggling, I'd decided to tell you this weekend, but as Friday was drawing closer, the more wound up I was getting, and I needed Ellen's reassurance "

" Hence your clandestine meeting here "

" Yes, Ellen's been through it, she's been dry for nearly twenty years, when I waver she knows what to say, what to do "

" You and Cath kept that secret well "

" Cath doesn't know "

" No "

" Who does ?"

" Sorry to interrupt the two of you, but I've brought you a tea Kayleigh " Ellen said gently.

" Thank you " Kayleigh rested her hand on Ellen's as she put the cup and saucer down, " I'm sorry " she continued. 

" It's okay love, right John, I'll head back to work, I think your stress levels will be a bit lower now you've told how it is, don't you ?"

" Aye "

" And I'm always only a phone call away, okay ?"

" Okay, thanks Ellen "

" You're welcome, bye John, bye Kayleigh "

The two of them watched her walk away.

" I'm sorry John "

" What for ?"

" Suspecting you of cheating, I should have known you wouldn't do that, what am I saying, I do know you're not like that "

" Well I should have told you by now, not continued to keep it secret "

" So anyway if Cath at work doesn't know who on earth does?"

" You"

" Me ?"

" Only you, no one else, bar Ellen and other members of the group"

" Group? "

" Member meetings "

" My name is John and I have a problem sort of group ?" 

" Sort of , yes " John smiled.

" Wait, do you mean no one as In nobody else knows ?"

" I mean exactly that, nobody else and that includes my family, Jim and all of our workmates "

" Is that why you don't go to many work parties?"

" Part of the reason, yes "

" And you often take your car, is that to give you an excuse not to drink ?"

" Yes " John smiled. 

" And to ward off little redheads who keep insisting on trying to buy you drinks?" Kayleigh asked, smiling.

" One little redhead ,yes "

" I'm sorry, I was only trying to cheer you up "

" Don't be sorry, and just talking to you cheers me up "

" This might be a silly question John, but can you have one drink ?"

" One is too many, and twenty isn't enough, know what I mean ?"

" No, not really "

" Good " 

Kayleigh grinned as she prepared her tea.

" What are you smiling at babe ?"

" You must really think a lot of me ?"

" I told you I do "

" I know you do, but this sort of proves it to me, I feel quite touched actually "

" I needed to come clean, so to speak "

" Surely she knew ?"

" Who ?"

" Your ex "

" No, believe it or not, although we were engaged, I never felt confident enough to tell her, she'd have used it as a weapon, something to use as leverage, something to casually let slip into conversation, that was her style "

" I'd never do that to you "

" I know "

" I'll take that secret to the grave John "

" I know "

" And I'm gonna support you , next time we go out I won't drink either "

" No need for that babe, knowing you're here for me is enough "

They held hands for a while, just looking at each other.

" I love you John Redmond " 

" And I love you Kayleigh Kitson , here's to a long and happy life together eh ?"

" Together forever ?" Kayleigh said. 

" Aye " John replied, a tear in his eye .

" I'll drink to that " Kayleigh raised her cup .

" What ?"

" Eh, oh sorry John, I didn't mean……"

Suddenly John grinned.

" What am I gonna do with you lady ?"

" Oh, you'll think of something "

" Won't I just "

They chuckled together and held hands, two contented in love thirty something's, both realising the love they had nurtured, had brought them to this point in their lives. John for the first time in years, didn't have a care in the world, he was in a happy place. Kayleigh felt as if this time she really, really mattered and someone very special, very special indeed loved her, trusted her, and most of all, believed in her.


End file.
